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Songs for Uncertainty

June 2, 2013

Right now is a rather uncertain time in our family’s life.  We will be moving from the Czech Republic back to the United States, and Matt does not yet have a job.  We keep “knocking on doors” – Matt has applied for several positions in camping/youth ministry since last fall – but no doors have been opened yet.  Although, at least 2-3 times a door was open a crack and we honestly thought God was going to open it all the way.

When we thought that certain doors were going to open wide, it was easy not to worry about the future.  I really believed that if Matt didn’t get one position he would get the other.  Yet now we are flying back in 3 weeks (!) and still no job.

So after the last rejection I guess I felt more worried than ever before.  In fact, I mostly felt kind of insulted that no one has yet hired my amazing husband.  (Do they realize just whom they aren’t hiring?  One of the wisest men I know, for his age.  He has room to grow like anyone, but as his wife I can say that he has so much integrity, humility, and wisdom.)  At the same time God is using this uncertainty to deepen my trust in Him.  I am always thankful when God does this because I feel closer to Him.  I know he will provide for us.  I know that if he wants to use us for his purposes here on earth, he will put us where he wants us, doing the work he is calling us to do.

These songs have meant a lot to me lately, especially the lyric excerpts below.  The first is from Hillsong United’s latest album, Zion.  “Oceans” is based on the miracle of the Apostle Peter walking on the water.  When he kept his eyes on Jesus, he walked on water.  When he focused on the frightening waves, he began to sink.  Since I was a child, this has been my favorite Bible story.

Oceans

“I will call upon your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise,
My soul will rest in your embrace
For I am yours, and you are mine”

 

Two other songs are from Sara Groves’s recent album, Invisible Empires.  I LOVE Sara Groves.  Her lyrics are consistently some of the most poetically thought provoking I have heard.  Her words profoundly describe life, like a painter portraying reality that I didn’t realize until she painted it for me.

I’ll Wait

“I can work like the devil, build a tower to the sky
I can work for my possessions till they empty me of life
I can build my own house and be building in vain
I can plant a seed but I can’t bring the rain

I’ll wait for you now more than ever
I see it’s true now more than ever, I’ll wait for you now”

Another one:

Open My Hands

“I will open my hands, will open my heart
I am nodding my head an emphatic yes to all the you have for me.”

 

Here’s to trusting God’s will for us.

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One Comment leave one →
  1. June 7, 2013 2:03 am

    Kate, I also have been blessed by those songs of Sara Groves….thank you again for the cd! It’s cool that we are listening to the same music and being blessed by it even though we are in very different places and stages. Love you.

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